#AMINEXT

In 2017, the #metoo movement started with just a hashtag to create a safe space for women who had been abused sexually or physically and have been living in silence for a long time. This movement not only named and shamed some big people in entertainment and government office, but also sparked some very deep conversation about consensual sex or sexual activities.

Today, South African mourns the death of a young university student Uyinene Mrwetyana, who was raped and killed by a sick man with a history of raping women. Social media is ablaze with this and women everywhere are sick and tired. The Naming and Shaming movement @DbnSurvivors has gone viral, with women coming forward and talking. Many women have anonymously shared their experiences as well as the name of their rapist, with pictures of the men. These are men who are walking freely in society, running businesses, churches and even government offices. Men from their communities, work places, friends and even relatives. These are the men we all think are harmless. Really, I was scrolling through the posts and looking at these men and they all look like the nice guys. The men who you would never feel threatened being around. They are wolves in sheep’s clothing. Moving around and prowling on women and girls.

Honestly, I can go on and on about how these men are trash. But I’m really here to educate. Globally 3 out 5 sexual assault cases are actually reported to the police. And the 2 case that are reported, it is very likely the perpetrator will walk free. Why is this? Why are we silent as women? Well, normally women who do not report a rape incident, fear rejection from their families and communities. They also fear that the rapist may rape or kill their family members (sisters and/or daughters). Most importantly the women felt like the police would not take any action. Which meant he would walk free and retaliate. In some cases, the women are so busy blaming themselves they do not even put the blame on the men. “I provoked him”. “I’m the one who went to his house”. “Its my fault”.

Should this happen to you. There are some important things you should do first.

1. Seek medical attention at an Emergency Hospital immediately. It is important for the hospital staff to collect forensic evidence soon after it has happened. Do not shower or change your clothes before going to the hospital. The clothing may have useful evidence that will implicate the rapist. The hospital staff will collect hair samples, swab your privates, your mouth and under your finger nails. They will take blood and urine samples of the victim as well as x-rays. They will also give the victim some medication to prevent any STIs, HIV and unwanted pregnancy. They may also take photographs. This is called “rape-kit” It is done to protect the victim’s health.

2. You do not have to relive or retell every detail of what happened if you do not want to. However, you can write down or record some important details on your phone. Such as the time it happened and where and what you were wearing and what. Did the person use a condom? After some time the details may become blurry, so having the details recorded may come in handy later.

3. You need to get support from a trained counselor, in order to get professional advice on how to move forward. Going through such an ordeal is tough and it can make you feel stuck. Surround yourself with a close friends and/or family.

Silence Hurts.